Usually I don’t like to look back unless to see how far I’ve come. It’s been a little bit over two years now since I left Canada. I miss it so much. My life there wasn’t rosy all the time, it had its ups and downs.. hardships and struggles. The road was chaotic at times, filled with detours and rain and loss of direction. But I consider myself extremely fortunate
Last night I thought about it. I thought about all the things that used to worry me so much that no longer now consume my mind and heart.
About all the things I never thought I’d accomplish but I did. About all the things that shook up my roots, my certainties and my fears.
About how I built a new existence far away from anything I knew or thought I knew.
About the feeling that I’d give anything to go back to that place to my comfort zone even if it were just for an instant.
About all the smallest trifles that used to overwhelm me with homesickness. A food, a song, a smell and all other little things I never thought I’d miss.
About being caught between two cultures and the feeling that I had two versions of myself. Two SIM cards, two IDs, two bank accounts, two places I called home, two languages and perhaps two identities.
About the butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling I got whenever I board a plane heading East.
About all the beautiful souls I made friends with & now become my across-the-globe family.
About all the loved ones who left so soon without me getting the chance to say goodbye one last time.
About all the beautiful celebrations I wasn’t able attend & being the missing person in most of the family photos.
It was an amazing journey that taught me more about life, love and fear than any books I’ve read. I look back now & I realize that all these things are worthy of being grateful for & beautiful reminder that no matter what I go through, I’ll always be able to make it if I only remain patient and work hard.
B:)
